just thinking today—about what’s going on in the world, the country, our community.  I am concerned for my children and grands...everyone else’s children & grands too.  we’re in a place of sadness, mistrust, hurt, fear and hatred...rather than being in a place of love, kindness, joy & applauding our various differences...embracing one another.  how have we come to this, or has it always been there but somehow, someway, now has permission been given by action or inaction to voice this vitriol, make this hurtful choice...choose fear over love?

although I tend towards optimism, through the years, I’ve found my glasses have become clearer about humanity—it saddens me and yet, I do believe we all have more goodness and love  — even more likely than not.  I realize that while I may believe that, want that and all, throughout this there are hurtful happenings every day and moment.  believing also that by silence—by looking the other way, each of us can be a part of the problem, how can I help—how can I make a difference—how can any of us do our small part without discouragement but with hope and love?

I think that’s a key...each of us has to want a change, choose to start, where we are, with our small step of hope and keep on even when it doesn’t show how it’s helpful... it certainly cannot hurt!  by making some small changes, each of us can, whatever our hope, make a difference—i believe this & choose to keep believing this even, and, in spite of it all.  it’s within this mindset, i offer you a glimpse into connection...a family taking time to BE together leaning into life.

our family recently spent almost a week together in a house at the ocean...how refreshing and joyful it was!  we had space together, space for our own needs, spaces to eat, wander, play, walk, talk, read, make campfires to roast marshmallows and make s’mores beside...frisbees to throw, rocks to climb and swings to be swung on by children and adults alike.  most of all, we had Time to Be.  what a delight for this mama to see her three grown sons, playing together, teasing, laughing, playing with their children, their children playing together...our family, as a whole (minus one who was unable to join us), came together to share being family—love, joy, life, hardship and challenge, love, joy & life.
each of us, doing our small part to add to love in the world...in our lives...in those lives we’re closest to, in lives of friends & chosen family...and, to those we don’t know, by loving, sharing joy and life in energy & gratitude.

Yes, this is what it’s all about~.

the beauty & greatness of every day

today, while feeding my kitties, on the front stoop, a neighbor walked by...she’s been a bit less active over the past months as she fell, during our 6 weeks of snow & ice this winter and broke her knee cap.  yikes, for anyone, but for one in her early 80’s it can mean even more challenge...and yet, she is rising to the occasion and, from years of walking daily, has a very good foundation to rebuild upon and is healing very well & quickly, likely a lot to do with her deep foundation of staying fit.      

a good reminder to me—to each of us, perhaps—our foundations do, whether physical or emotional undergird our lives, supporting us in ways we cannot even imagine, helping when we may least expect it.  gratitude for the reminder...gratitude for the opportunity to lean into the foundation established over the years of leaning in, reaching out, creating forth—embracing each & every day.

some moments of reflection on the in between...my grands, as i’ve mentioned before, are such wonders to me!  recently, i’ve had opportunity to be with each of the three of them at different times over a few months.  our third grand, a sweet little girl, joined our family back a ways & what a delightful addition to our family she is!   i was so fortunate to be able to be with her, her big brother & parents for 2 weeks when she was but a wee lass of a couple weeks on our just beginning to get-to-one-another-visit~  on that visit, as well,  I spent time reminding her brother of how wonderful and amazing he is & his big brother-ness too....through playing, reading, running, talking, cooking...and so much more being-ness to reinforce that bond — that it was stronger than ever and never going away even with the addition of someone beautiful, loving and new!  since then, another visit and now another, to continue the play, laughter, joy, challenge, delight and beauty of days shared...keeping us close even when it’s just over FaceTime or calls & letters in between.  in the midst of those visits, we had the opportunity to spend one on one time with our grand on the other coast...time with just him & his Grammie & Grandpa—what a gift—then & staying in touch—however that works best!  how do any of us stay in touch & connection with those we care about?  long times can happen...because life happens in between and around us~  so, the challenge then becomes, how do we choose to take & make the time for connection in the greatness of the beauty of every day?  

It's a bright new day. every. day~

It's been a long, flavorful, busy, full time since last i wrote here...life happens every single day to each of us.  Do we note that?  Or...is it just the high spots or, more often for some, the low spots, we note?  I'd like to start again...share what comes my way as I choose--selecting some things to share from my heart even if it's not every detail...just enough to remind each of us that our lives hold such fullness even during the times of less obvious loveliness.

In the meantime, I've become a grammie...one of the most amazing joys of my life--one I had no idea would totally sweep me away...maybe I should have been more aware...nah!  Nothing in the world has prepared me for grammie-ness!  These two most amazing little beings have swept me away into their bright, new, joyous world of energy, light & bright eyes...seeing the world from their perspective and with such a love between us!  Warms me even just sitting here typing along with them miles & miles away.  However, just recently, we celebrated the sweet oldest grand's 2nd birthday--all together with the grams and papas & all the rest from daddy's side...last year was mama's side far away, so what a sweet gift to get together and BE...celebrate, love, laugh & play!

The special joy from this time together was richness and continuing to build what we started all those years ago...even with families moving in various directions and yet...coming together to celebrate & love.  We are indeed a sweet family who cares for each other and the world.  Gratitude fills my heart for the richness here...and i seek to share it every day with people i know & those i don't in ways of making the world a kinder, more thoughtful place to live, grow and be~. Peace & love...every. day.

embracing the process...

the past months have been an evolution of sorts in our house...one of evolving questions and less answers with more questions...seeking, ever seeking to find the next steps in the path.  you see, our youngest son decided, after his first year, that the college he thought was his best place to go...well, the whole thing needs to be on hold for abit at least.  and so...the questions.   his discovery and joy at said institution of learning is not underestimated in the least by this time away--no, really, it's all apart of this process of learning about one's self and, in my experience, that beautiful, sometimes painful journey has various curves, bumps and side trails.

and so...NYC came up in this equation...as potentially the answer to all the suggestions and learning up to this point for C.  because, you see, one of the discoveries at college was how very much dance needed to be a continuing focus for him, he now sought to pursue this on a more professional level--hence, NYC!  so, after various (and I mean Various!) conversations over the weeks and months of this summer, we set 'sail' so to speak and settled on plane reservations (one way tickets...), housing to stay while in NYC and a few connections made to create 'the village' for him/us in NYC.  we chose to leave from Portland, OR and rented a car one-way from WW to Portland thus reducing our need to return there to pick up a car plus all the other various reasons to not leave a car at a parking lot for undetermined lengths of time.  having settled into our hotel room there and excitedly looking forward to our next days, we slept to wake to the long-awaited day of departure to NYC!

                     taken by the great photographer/dancer...
                                           on our way to Portland, OR, September 26, 2013

it is...all about love~

over the past few weeks, I've been privileged to participate in or attend some pretty spectacular celebrations. so, today, when my spouse asked if we were going to another wedding, well...it did make sense.  you see, the past two weekends, we've had these amazing, generous celebrations to embrace--lovely weddings both--so very similar in the love expressed and yet, so very different for other reasons.

after the supreme court decided to recognize the unconstitutionality of not allowing same gender marriages to be seen, from a federal perspective, the same way as opposite gender marriages, many of us were delighted to celebrate an amazing couple's love and relationship of commitment after 20 years of committed partnership...so, yes, not only did we get to go to celebrate a marriage, but the 20 years together as well as the reality that things are changing.  this change is such a long time coming and touches deep, deep in many of our hearts; yet, I am so grateful to be a part of watching and celebrating this change.

to watch the young people in life honor this change is delightful; however, in truth, many of them have never realized why it's taken some of the rest of us so long to not make an issue of this.  from this openness of perspective comes true love and celebration to realize that one can love another -- just as they are and choose them, yet again, after 20 years, 1 year, 50 years, 3 years...every day...whether one is celebrating life with one of same gender or opposite gender...it just doesn't matter.  we are more alike than different...our struggles are more similar than different...one doesn't take from the other ...rather, it is truly, all about love.

so, going last weekend to another loving commitment ceremony of marriage of the lovely young woman I've known since she was 2 was yet another lovely, celebration of love.  the beautiful setting, again, outside, the amazing flowers, trees, landscape...the wonderful food...the happy families....all of those, like me, who celebrated as part of the community who supports...yet again, similar.  the love, the commitment, the excitement and courage...all of this and so much more go into relationships that can continue to "yes" over time...whoever we are, wherever we are...it truly is, all about love.

summer days...

yes, today's one of those very hot, somewhat muggy, summer days...i would prefer the dry heat but alas! it seems to have gone away from what once was a very dry climate.  ah well...gardening still happens--yeah!  and the raspberries seem quite happy all around.  so, what's to complain about really?!  the other evening, in fact, i got to make 17 jars of jam--it was a warm project but the berries were so yummy...fresh strawberries from a local berry farm and even better, red & black raspberries fresh from our very own gardens...lovely!

and so, the process of life continues...questions about what happens after the summer's over for some...for others, back to school or to school for some.  what an exciting time of year it is!  there are possibilities and yet, sometimes, the possibilities can overwhelm and make us wonder if we should just take the next steps of what we know...or should we explore the dreams and possibilities of what might be?

life, death and all that's in between...

recently, i've been thinking about life, death and new beginnings as my birthday has just passed and  have had several dear friends pass on recently.  just today, when reflecting with another friend about this sadness & loss, i remembered a quote i'd read years back...and gratefully, found it again this evening~

by David Eagleman:  "There are three deaths.  The first is when the body ceases to function.  The second is when the body is consigned to a grave.  The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time."

recently, a dear friend of many years old, and one i've been privileged to know for but relatively few of those, passed after  decreasing life's ease and viability...her passing has touched me in a very deep way even though i don't wish her back--for her, the breath of life was increasingly hard to come by...who could ask for someone to continue to struggle to breath--ask for them to return to more of that?  however, her passing was a reminder of being connected to all that is...how meaningful and important that is...how much her connection to me meant as well as mine to her~  i am touched as even after she passed, i received a card from her, signed with her infamous initials, in a shaky hand.  at first, not only was i touched by her thoughtfulness, but as i received it posthumously, i felt something more than the usual love from her.  thank you, dear RE.  i am richer for having known you.  

another passing has come more suddenly after an older friend was ill for a fairly brief time.  while his health and again, breath, came with increased difficulty, his recent illness was seemingly from something else so when i heard he'd requested only comfort care, i was deeply saddened.  over the past few weeks, he'd also requested to have only family with him...i feel very fortunate in being able to see him once in early December  though in the hospital and ICU, i had opportunity to hug, love & thank him for his impact and care in my life.  again, i am honored to have had this incredible person loving me in this life.  sadness &, yet, gratitude fills me with the richness of knowing another enough to miss them, love them & mourn them--and yes, remember them~

just having celebrated a lovely holiday time with family & friends, here's my new year's wish...
          may i seek less stuff and more gratitude in my life & world...
               may i share a peacefulness where there's strife, 
                    take time to express gratitude even in the midst of challenge & unrest...
                         offer love &  hope to another--known or unknown--and in that,
                                    make one's burden or challenge a little bit lighter~
                                 

                                               being grateful for this fresh gift of a new year.
                                                                                                                    
                                                                   love & best to you.

reflections from the journey...

here i am spending time at the ocean...what a lovely respite after a busy, amazing summer & fall filled with times of emotion, change, joy & mixed tears...but this ocean place is something that often calls me and sometimes, i can answer, 'yes'.  so, happily, here i am--in the midst of the rain, change of season that October brings-- the fallen leaves, the ocean's storminess, the rain falling on the skylights of my little house...all part of the times.  today, i had the rich opportunity of seeing several deer out my upstairs window...walking on the golf course which my backyard touches...they were so gentle, quiet and relaxed even the midst of their surroundings where sometimes people hit balls all over, walk with golf bags on their shoulders and even take their game very seriously...here were these lovely creatures, folding their legs into their resting pose to wait and watch--the rain, the day or to nap.

i find that as i'm here in the midst of a rainier time, i read more, relax more, feel less of the expectation to get out to "do something"...which, is, after all, the whole point of this time...and yet, it takes the weather being less welcoming for me to 'stay in'...and that's okay.  perhaps, from this time, even when here later with different weather, i'll remember, reflect and even then reach for the restfulness of this time.  i hope so.

possibilities...

lots of amazing, wonderful, sometimes-challenging, changes are happening for me...that feeling of  "wow! what do i do now?" has come over me numerous times in the few weeks.  our youngest son headed off to college, and frankly, i know it's been a bit more challenging for all of us--more than we'd anticipated; however, the good news is that for the most part, he's happy and doing well which means his mama is too!  weird how that works!  as individuals, the parental units are doing well; however, the unfolding of newness continues as his dad & i are really alone for the first time ever as i came into this relationship with two other small, amazing boys...we're finding our way, some days with more success than others, but we are--which is good.

another wonderful, amazing happening is a wedding for our oldest son next weekend. such a joyous time for all of us!  his fiancee is a beautiful person--inside & out--and well-matched to this terrific young man. we are all very happy for them~  it's fun planning, anticipating, getting ready, choosing this & that, clothing & shoes, decor for every event--the process has been very enjoyable even on crazy days of too much to do!  all of this will take place a couple of hours away in the mountains with incredible beauty surrounding so very little extra is needed.  setting: ranch, grasses, mountains, blue sky--a lovely red barn and mess hall compliment the tall pines and wild flowers--just perfect!  yes. it will be a very special day with all those nearest & dearest to the two whose love & commitment we all celebrate.

life has a funny way of taking us along -- we can choose to embrace each of the events in our lives, participate in and be a part of the happenings, or we can passively muddle our way along without paying attention--still, life moves on. i choose & am grateful to be an intentional participant in life.   Yes!

opportunities of gratitude

i sit in the loft of my studio, lovely music playing & cool breezes from the fan creating a wonderful, peace-filled time...i am quiet.  listening to the beauty of the various instruments playing, the music touches deep within me...reading there, words of incredible reminder of the life i choose to live, the lives others seek and find to live...the opportunities & privilege we have to live our best lives.  do we take that opportunity and live that responsibility well?  i'm not thinking of 'the list' of what we're 'to do' to live a successful life...rather, i'm referring to the best life I am called to live...living out my path, honorably, truly, gratefully and with joy.  whatever my path calls me to, do i do it within that framework knowing that's the journey of a life well-lived?

my youngest son heads off to college in less than 6 weeks...i will miss him at a depth i've not oft felt before...he is my bright, youngest, favorite, son...one of 3 favorite sons.  as i sit in the loft, i am thinking of him moving on to college...the beauty and adventure that lie ahead for him and i am so happy for him!  what a great opportunity is his to head off, taking his loving spirit, his bright mind, his inquisitive and creative nature off to seek new and different opportunities and ideas many of which haven't even crossed his mind before.  yes, i'm very excited for him to have this life.   i am also very grateful for his being the ongoing presence in my life through the past 18 years. one of the things i'm most grateful for is his encouraging me, reminding me and,  sometimes,calling me out to be the person i think & say i am...thank you, youngest son. i will miss you, yes.  but more, i'm happy for you~

reflections on a day in May...

while this is, at this point in the summer, a reflection on a previous time, i want to share it as it holds something to be grateful for, think about, be with... peace~

                                 
having the privilege of taking a nap on a warm spring afternoon is a gift...yesterday, not only did i get to do such an outrageously, luxuriant thing, but i was joined by my sweet little cat, Sammie~  she is quite the gal! what a serendipitous gift she's been joining our lives almost 3 years ago as a wee mite.

a hammock was our setting...the warm spring breezes were blowing--not too hot, not too cold--just right.  Sammie chose to be restful with her 'mama' in the hammock, and we both fell asleep--what a delightful time of being.  i learn alot from her...some lessons i may not want to look at but nevertheless, there they are.  so i seek to learn & be the best i am and, within that context, realize my best changes all the time...and that's an amazing and beautiful realization for me~

being present...

in the past few months, it seems there have been more than the usual amount of health-issue stories touching people i know...people who discover they have advanced cancer, someone's parent has early-stage Alzheimer's...one who has struggled for many years with addiction and sadness let's go and goes onto what's next...people in their fifties having complications from medical procedures or low-quality medical care and pass...sadness can overtake one's psychological make-up if one dwells on the trauma...drama...challenge.

in the midst of all this, where does one find some solace, peace, respite of one's spirit?  when even people who lean into skepticism reflect about end of the world activities, i pause and reflect and weigh in...i want to live a life of presence no matter what's happening...and yes, i have been deeply touched by most, if not all, of the examples listed above.  will, however, any of those tragedies be less difficult if i allow my life to become unhinged?  if i quit trying to live my life to my best abilities--will that make the hurt less? doesn't living fully mean feeling the sadness, embracing the loss while living in the midst?

in some communities, such as in Sendai, where a huge and devastating tsunami occurred just over a year ago, friends living there reflected with me and told me that one of the best ways, as a culture, they honor those lost in tragic events like this is to pick up, keep living, build again, continue on...for them, this honors, in the best way with respect & dignity, the loss & the life.  how do we, as people in this country, honor the tragedies but not live for the drama?  how have we contributed, as a society, to a less positive and more challenge-driven people?  do we, in any way,  see life as so black and white that either we become mired in the tragedy and cannot move forward or we seek the drama and challenge and 'live for the next one'?  what does that say about us?   what does that say about you...me...each of us--as ultimately, it is each of us individually who have to choose how we live and respond to life?

if i choose to live in the present, in the midst of difficulty & trouble and yet find calm in my heart, what does that say about me?  can i be the best, compassionate person i know to be and yet do that?  being present in the midst is what i am called to do...with integrity, intention and peace, i am called to be the best person i can be...embrace the moments of joy, challenge, life and be present in the midst of each moment~

so, yes...life moves on~

it's been awhile and life has moved on...school's begun for some in my family...autumn leaves are falling...the art studio evolves into a new look, refreshed but still embracing the old charm of the 100+ years it's been here.  i am fortunate to be a part of helping to create this space and am ever grateful for the people who have helped bring it this far...of late, the doors, block windows and new finish to the sheet-rocked walls add a really wonderful touch along with the trim around all the doors & windows--lovely with their hemlock frames!  soon, i'll be able to move my art supplies, easel, tables & shelves into the space and set up...to create & see what evolves!  i can hardly wait-- this has been awhile coming and it's shaped up so wonderfully with just a few final things yet to do...

otherwise,  leaves are being raked & music is playing--and changing with the seasons.  at this house, often, holiday music begins before the neighbors might...but i've always thought that if i don't begin early, time moves so quickly, i'll miss the whole experience and i love the process!  college apps are being filled out with an 18th birthday soon here--amazing that the years have flown from a scary start...to now!  what a delight to be a part of all the adventures of life--who knows what's next?  i've had the opportunity to go away--to visit family in california, helping move from one house to another and watch the home unfold in the new locale...go off in other directions to visit, help & spend time with family and friends who live afar...i am honored to be included~ 

for this season which is upon us, i give thanks...while i love the season of thanksgiving and all it includes, i think, often, of how grateful i am each day--for the little moments, the big surprises, the challenges & the joys...for all of this & more, i am grateful~

...'being' is enough

somedays, 'being' is all there is...and yet, believe it or not, 'being' is an active participation of life. for me, 'being,' is about participating--a presence and active & integral reality of active living...not just floating through life in a haze.  today, i've been touched by a dear friend's loss yet again...and reminded, too, of how important the active participation in life is for each of us.  what a privilege it is to be our best selves through the active 'being' with our journey.  each one of us can choose how that's going to look--no, we cannot make all things difficult flee...but really, the presence of challenge in our lives is what sometimes gives perspective and added beauty to the rest of our life.  so, back to the thought about choosing...

how we face 'what is' speaks volumes about who we are.  we can make the difficult be the focus...or it can be what gives other parts of life perspective...teaching us lessons, reminding us of something-- the potential of life...and multitudes of other things; however, as life is full of joy & challenge, we can choose how we're going to respond to all of that -- will we allow the challenge and difficulty to be the powerful directive of who we are, define us if you will or will we see all things as a part of the whole journey and thereby, simply that--a part and not what has to drive our lives.  i love that each of us have a choice about our lives--if not each and every actual happening, rather, the ultimate choice--what am I going to do about with what comes my way--how am i choosing to respond to life?  that is MY choice and 'being' is enough~

basil, tomatoes...and...anything!

the garden is beginning to be fruitful...i found 2 small lemon cucumbers yesterday, have had a handful of lovely golden cherry tomatoes and basil, cilantro & rosemary for awhile now.  i can hardly wait to have enough tomatoes to make something wonderful...do i care what?!  not at all...something lovely with balsamic vinegar, salt & pepper...some lovely cheese.  incredible fresh flavors that cannot come too soon!

so...today for me, LeaningIntoLife means being present for what is...available to smell, taste, hear, touch, sense, love~  life if full and vigorous, warm and languid--feeling pain and sadness when one loses someone close...delighted with the joy of love and connection...embracing new and upcoming adventures. today is full and i am grateful for it!  someone is off hiking and enjoying time away in the quiet of the mountains, bicycle rides are available for those who choose to ride, enjoying the blowing hair, breezes which cool on warm and even hot summer days...feeling strength as one stretches beyond the normal activity...someone trying a new recipe or art form...making plans to see missed dear ones or meeting someone new that you know can be a friend--lovely! 

really, what are you grateful for today?

each moment we're learning or teaching...

recently, i've been reminded of how we are learning and teaching always--often simultaneously...and what that says about life.  pure observation can bring one to some conclusions and simply put, that's how some of these new ideas have evolved.  recently, watching people give and give with one person taking the credit for the whole project has brought me to wonder about my role in the learning/teaching when this sort of thing happens whether or not i'm on the receiving end of that situation or simply observing it.  i tend to think all our lives are lived within the constraint of learning and  growing from what occurs; however, one of my sons mentioned recently that perhaps i am the teacher rather than supposed to learn something and this gave me pause.  although as a social worker for many years, i've frequently shared my thoughts and perspectives when counseling from a 'devil's advocate' position and certainly framed with words like, "have you considered this possibility" or "something to consider might be..." thus leaving the receiver the decision to choose which to consider and move with...it is, after all, not mine to choose when it's not my life.  hence, the teaching piece of my life has been in my counseling or as a parent...but in a bigger perspective--a life path, if you will, teaching and learning is in every moment of each of our lives. even when we don't seek to be an example or a teacher, we often are.  am i called to speak up or at least encourage the person to find voice in their paths when i've observed something unjust...am i, by silence, acquiesing and participating in some form of injustice?  when and how do i know the lessons to be learned or the teaching to be shared? maybe the lesson is this:  sometimes what's most clarifying about our character is what we don't say--sometimes it's what we do...and being open to when to do which is the challenge as well~

this brings me to the thoughts of leaning into life, embracing that role, intentionally choosing to BE present with life and all that might bring one's way.  we've had a sadness this week and truly, what's to learn in this has not crossed my mind...being mindful with the experience and honoring the loss of our sweet little friend is the focus...caring for and supporting those closest to her is the most prevelant feeling within me...am i learning or teaching in this?  probably so, but when one lives a life of honest presence, each moment brings something to learn, noted or not, and something to teach as well.  i am grateful for feeling deeply and with that, feeling deeply the loss.  without the depth of connection, i will not feel the depth of loss...and i will not have learned what was intended in that experience.  much rather to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all. (Tennyson, paraphrase intended). 

monday, monday...

after a busy weekend full of gardening, being with people i love, lightening the load of 'stuff' in my world...yes, it was a busy but good weekend.  now monday--new roof time for the art studio--yeah!!  the electricity is waiting to be completed following the roof's completion and the addition of two new skylights...the loft is in the midst of completion but with debris falling all around, it, too, is on hold for the moment.  warehouse lights are on their way to their new home in an art studio...a new faucet is here with amazing instant hot on one handle and cold on the other sharing a faucet!  i didn't even know one could get an instant hot that looked like this much less combining the cold with so one doesn't get burned when washing up...i am 'seeing' how it'll be when its completed... i am so pleased with the way it's coming together and ever so grateful for the very skilled people who have helped create this--such great determination to make Louise the very best she can be (for those of you who missed the blog where 'she' got named, a couple of blogs back that happened...still am not sure why Louise but that's her name...). 

at the present time, the one thing that continues to haunt me is the wall board search...i'd been determined to not use sheetrock, but alas!  any other has its own set of cons as well...still seeking a 'green' option of sheetrock...is there any located nearer than Portland, OR -- i don't know, but perhaps i need to make a road trip to Portland...could be really fun!   ideas are welcomed~ 

small areas around my yard continue to call me as the dust settles every now and again...so, pockets of peacefulness and beauty are continuing to energize me, create a place of BEing for even brief moments...love the flowers and even the newest collection in the wall-pockets i created based on pictures of others' ways of having growth on walls...hence, this little display of succulents.
taking time to find peace within on this path of life is a gift--wishing it on to each one...

today i choose intention

i've been reminded, lately, again, of how little i control...yes, i know, that's something i run from...being controlled, but of course, being on the other end of it, sometimes works really well...like in health issues...building projects...and even on occasion, life!  of late, someone dear, one of my 3sons, has had some ongoing health concerns and wow!  what a reminder of being out of control...this mama doesn't always do well with that one when it has anything to do with her sons no matter what their age!  amazing how much that "mama tiger" wants to come out and be present and active--certainly not just standing by, mind you!  nevertheless, i consciously seek to live with intention--to live fully, actively and peacefully, all at one time--for me, that is intentional living.  being present, paying attention, listening to that internal nudge and acting on it intentionally.  that can mean loving, watching, supporting and lovingly, letting others do what they need to because it is their life and that's how i choose to love and live with intention too. 

when i was young, i often felt over-protected, sheltered & controlled, if you will, by the parental units.  now, mind you, i also know the best of intention was behind all of this; nevertheless, as i grew and became more who i was, i needed the freedom to explore, try and find my way...as such, as a parent later on, i have chosen to seek that sort of parenting with my own children and certainly, at their ages now, i so appreciate the relationship we've grown together...one of loving trust between son/mother as well as a special friendship.  i am rich with appreciation for this gift in my life and grateful for the awareness of its presence. 
                                          today...i, again, choose intention~

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
 Mahatma Gandhi
                                      (1869-1948)

what a wonderful day of discovery...!

tuesday...life is full and busy with another successful inspection on the art studio named Louise--a wonderful name that still makes me smile!  i'm seeking lights for my new space...have spent time looking at warehouse/barn lights with large galvanized shades...seems to be just the right touch for the space which is unfolding.  today we got the treated lumber to enclose the 18" space we created by digging, digging, digging for a crawl space considered code-worthy.  it would provide space for many creatures--those i don't want as well, so enclosing with ventilation is the next step.  all this practical stuff is needed and i love how it's being created by K...amazing work!  after all the bumbling to get started with this project, i have a huge sense of peace knowing i  have someone of such quality and ability creating this place of creativity and joy. so, my job is to make sure the other pieces are ready and in place to continue the process as seamlessly as possible...electric install next and insulation following.  after that, it may be a bit until the next phase happens as K tends to prior commitments with his fence-building business. 

with sun shining, the atmosphere and warmth are just right for creating & gardening...after our rain and cooler weather, it might take abit for us to feel too warm, but my garden is smiling--in fact, i have small green pear tomatoes!  weirdly enough, i also have a blossom on an eggplant from last year...how that came through the winter, i don't know, but it's a strange & wonderful serendipity!  i'm loving gardening again this year--always something new to see, discover, move, weed, trim and dead-head!  i am always moved by the process of how some dirt, sunshine, water and seeds along with special energy create this amazing color in life...lovely indeed!  i am so grateful to be a part of it~

...friday already?!

well...amazingly, the days fly by and sometimes, one can get caught up in moments spent doing intentional things without thought...or letting hours pass as i am looking for old/new siding for my studio or...you get the idea, i'm sure.  yes, it's been a week of seeking and no, i'm not referring to wanting more than i have because i am really very content and grateful with the 'haves' in my life.  however, as a recent new acquaintence put it, the search is much of the joy in the adventure...as in reclaimed lumber & architectural beauties such as a lovely unique sconce...

so, the studio keeps unfolding...and She,  (yes, she) seems to have been given a name by K...somehow i need to incorporate said name into the future too...louise?  really?  we'll see, but for now, i smile when i hear her being called by name.  as for the practical pieces of where 'she's' at, here's a couple of photos...

after lots of conversation with various people including my 3 sons. ideas & energy flow...to say i'm excited and anticipating a wonderful space is a vast understatement.  the electrician and i just had more conversation as i've clarified my vision, so...a few revisions to the original overview.  the intention of this space remains true...a place for creating, being, breathing, engaging and embracing life...leaning into life...with intention!
                                        Breathe in the moments...fellow adventurers~