just thinking today—about what’s going on in the world, the country, our community.  I am concerned for my children and grands...everyone else’s children & grands too.  we’re in a place of sadness, mistrust, hurt, fear and hatred...rather than being in a place of love, kindness, joy & applauding our various differences...embracing one another.  how have we come to this, or has it always been there but somehow, someway, now has permission been given by action or inaction to voice this vitriol, make this hurtful choice...choose fear over love?

although I tend towards optimism, through the years, I’ve found my glasses have become clearer about humanity—it saddens me and yet, I do believe we all have more goodness and love  — even more likely than not.  I realize that while I may believe that, want that and all, throughout this there are hurtful happenings every day and moment.  believing also that by silence—by looking the other way, each of us can be a part of the problem, how can I help—how can I make a difference—how can any of us do our small part without discouragement but with hope and love?

I think that’s a key...each of us has to want a change, choose to start, where we are, with our small step of hope and keep on even when it doesn’t show how it’s helpful... it certainly cannot hurt!  by making some small changes, each of us can, whatever our hope, make a difference—i believe this & choose to keep believing this even, and, in spite of it all.  it’s within this mindset, i offer you a glimpse into connection...a family taking time to BE together leaning into life.

our family recently spent almost a week together in a house at the ocean...how refreshing and joyful it was!  we had space together, space for our own needs, spaces to eat, wander, play, walk, talk, read, make campfires to roast marshmallows and make s’mores beside...frisbees to throw, rocks to climb and swings to be swung on by children and adults alike.  most of all, we had Time to Be.  what a delight for this mama to see her three grown sons, playing together, teasing, laughing, playing with their children, their children playing together...our family, as a whole (minus one who was unable to join us), came together to share being family—love, joy, life, hardship and challenge, love, joy & life.
each of us, doing our small part to add to love in the world...in our lives...in those lives we’re closest to, in lives of friends & chosen family...and, to those we don’t know, by loving, sharing joy and life in energy & gratitude.

Yes, this is what it’s all about~.

the beauty & greatness of every day

today, while feeding my kitties, on the front stoop, a neighbor walked by...she’s been a bit less active over the past months as she fell, during our 6 weeks of snow & ice this winter and broke her knee cap.  yikes, for anyone, but for one in her early 80’s it can mean even more challenge...and yet, she is rising to the occasion and, from years of walking daily, has a very good foundation to rebuild upon and is healing very well & quickly, likely a lot to do with her deep foundation of staying fit.      

a good reminder to me—to each of us, perhaps—our foundations do, whether physical or emotional undergird our lives, supporting us in ways we cannot even imagine, helping when we may least expect it.  gratitude for the reminder...gratitude for the opportunity to lean into the foundation established over the years of leaning in, reaching out, creating forth—embracing each & every day.

some moments of reflection on the in between...my grands, as i’ve mentioned before, are such wonders to me!  recently, i’ve had opportunity to be with each of the three of them at different times over a few months.  our third grand, a sweet little girl, joined our family back a ways & what a delightful addition to our family she is!   i was so fortunate to be able to be with her, her big brother & parents for 2 weeks when she was but a wee lass of a couple weeks on our just beginning to get-to-one-another-visit~  on that visit, as well,  I spent time reminding her brother of how wonderful and amazing he is & his big brother-ness too....through playing, reading, running, talking, cooking...and so much more being-ness to reinforce that bond — that it was stronger than ever and never going away even with the addition of someone beautiful, loving and new!  since then, another visit and now another, to continue the play, laughter, joy, challenge, delight and beauty of days shared...keeping us close even when it’s just over FaceTime or calls & letters in between.  in the midst of those visits, we had the opportunity to spend one on one time with our grand on the other coast...time with just him & his Grammie & Grandpa—what a gift—then & staying in touch—however that works best!  how do any of us stay in touch & connection with those we care about?  long times can happen...because life happens in between and around us~  so, the challenge then becomes, how do we choose to take & make the time for connection in the greatness of the beauty of every day?  

It's a bright new day. every. day~

It's been a long, flavorful, busy, full time since last i wrote here...life happens every single day to each of us.  Do we note that?  Or...is it just the high spots or, more often for some, the low spots, we note?  I'd like to start again...share what comes my way as I choose--selecting some things to share from my heart even if it's not every detail...just enough to remind each of us that our lives hold such fullness even during the times of less obvious loveliness.

In the meantime, I've become a grammie...one of the most amazing joys of my life--one I had no idea would totally sweep me away...maybe I should have been more aware...nah!  Nothing in the world has prepared me for grammie-ness!  These two most amazing little beings have swept me away into their bright, new, joyous world of energy, light & bright eyes...seeing the world from their perspective and with such a love between us!  Warms me even just sitting here typing along with them miles & miles away.  However, just recently, we celebrated the sweet oldest grand's 2nd birthday--all together with the grams and papas & all the rest from daddy's side...last year was mama's side far away, so what a sweet gift to get together and BE...celebrate, love, laugh & play!

The special joy from this time together was richness and continuing to build what we started all those years ago...even with families moving in various directions and yet...coming together to celebrate & love.  We are indeed a sweet family who cares for each other and the world.  Gratitude fills my heart for the richness here...and i seek to share it every day with people i know & those i don't in ways of making the world a kinder, more thoughtful place to live, grow and be~. Peace & love...every. day.

embracing the process...

the past months have been an evolution of sorts in our house...one of evolving questions and less answers with more questions...seeking, ever seeking to find the next steps in the path.  you see, our youngest son decided, after his first year, that the college he thought was his best place to go...well, the whole thing needs to be on hold for abit at least.  and so...the questions.   his discovery and joy at said institution of learning is not underestimated in the least by this time away--no, really, it's all apart of this process of learning about one's self and, in my experience, that beautiful, sometimes painful journey has various curves, bumps and side trails.

and so...NYC came up in this equation...as potentially the answer to all the suggestions and learning up to this point for C.  because, you see, one of the discoveries at college was how very much dance needed to be a continuing focus for him, he now sought to pursue this on a more professional level--hence, NYC!  so, after various (and I mean Various!) conversations over the weeks and months of this summer, we set 'sail' so to speak and settled on plane reservations (one way tickets...), housing to stay while in NYC and a few connections made to create 'the village' for him/us in NYC.  we chose to leave from Portland, OR and rented a car one-way from WW to Portland thus reducing our need to return there to pick up a car plus all the other various reasons to not leave a car at a parking lot for undetermined lengths of time.  having settled into our hotel room there and excitedly looking forward to our next days, we slept to wake to the long-awaited day of departure to NYC!

                     taken by the great photographer/dancer...
                                           on our way to Portland, OR, September 26, 2013

it is...all about love~

over the past few weeks, I've been privileged to participate in or attend some pretty spectacular celebrations. so, today, when my spouse asked if we were going to another wedding, well...it did make sense.  you see, the past two weekends, we've had these amazing, generous celebrations to embrace--lovely weddings both--so very similar in the love expressed and yet, so very different for other reasons.

after the supreme court decided to recognize the unconstitutionality of not allowing same gender marriages to be seen, from a federal perspective, the same way as opposite gender marriages, many of us were delighted to celebrate an amazing couple's love and relationship of commitment after 20 years of committed partnership...so, yes, not only did we get to go to celebrate a marriage, but the 20 years together as well as the reality that things are changing.  this change is such a long time coming and touches deep, deep in many of our hearts; yet, I am so grateful to be a part of watching and celebrating this change.

to watch the young people in life honor this change is delightful; however, in truth, many of them have never realized why it's taken some of the rest of us so long to not make an issue of this.  from this openness of perspective comes true love and celebration to realize that one can love another -- just as they are and choose them, yet again, after 20 years, 1 year, 50 years, 3 years...every day...whether one is celebrating life with one of same gender or opposite gender...it just doesn't matter.  we are more alike than different...our struggles are more similar than different...one doesn't take from the other ...rather, it is truly, all about love.

so, going last weekend to another loving commitment ceremony of marriage of the lovely young woman I've known since she was 2 was yet another lovely, celebration of love.  the beautiful setting, again, outside, the amazing flowers, trees, landscape...the wonderful food...the happy families....all of those, like me, who celebrated as part of the community who supports...yet again, similar.  the love, the commitment, the excitement and courage...all of this and so much more go into relationships that can continue to "yes" over time...whoever we are, wherever we are...it truly is, all about love.

summer days...

yes, today's one of those very hot, somewhat muggy, summer days...i would prefer the dry heat but alas! it seems to have gone away from what once was a very dry climate.  ah well...gardening still happens--yeah!  and the raspberries seem quite happy all around.  so, what's to complain about really?!  the other evening, in fact, i got to make 17 jars of jam--it was a warm project but the berries were so yummy...fresh strawberries from a local berry farm and even better, red & black raspberries fresh from our very own gardens...lovely!

and so, the process of life continues...questions about what happens after the summer's over for some...for others, back to school or to school for some.  what an exciting time of year it is!  there are possibilities and yet, sometimes, the possibilities can overwhelm and make us wonder if we should just take the next steps of what we know...or should we explore the dreams and possibilities of what might be?

life, death and all that's in between...

recently, i've been thinking about life, death and new beginnings as my birthday has just passed and  have had several dear friends pass on recently.  just today, when reflecting with another friend about this sadness & loss, i remembered a quote i'd read years back...and gratefully, found it again this evening~

by David Eagleman:  "There are three deaths.  The first is when the body ceases to function.  The second is when the body is consigned to a grave.  The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time."

recently, a dear friend of many years old, and one i've been privileged to know for but relatively few of those, passed after  decreasing life's ease and viability...her passing has touched me in a very deep way even though i don't wish her back--for her, the breath of life was increasingly hard to come by...who could ask for someone to continue to struggle to breath--ask for them to return to more of that?  however, her passing was a reminder of being connected to all that is...how meaningful and important that is...how much her connection to me meant as well as mine to her~  i am touched as even after she passed, i received a card from her, signed with her infamous initials, in a shaky hand.  at first, not only was i touched by her thoughtfulness, but as i received it posthumously, i felt something more than the usual love from her.  thank you, dear RE.  i am richer for having known you.  

another passing has come more suddenly after an older friend was ill for a fairly brief time.  while his health and again, breath, came with increased difficulty, his recent illness was seemingly from something else so when i heard he'd requested only comfort care, i was deeply saddened.  over the past few weeks, he'd also requested to have only family with him...i feel very fortunate in being able to see him once in early December  though in the hospital and ICU, i had opportunity to hug, love & thank him for his impact and care in my life.  again, i am honored to have had this incredible person loving me in this life.  sadness &, yet, gratitude fills me with the richness of knowing another enough to miss them, love them & mourn them--and yes, remember them~

just having celebrated a lovely holiday time with family & friends, here's my new year's wish...
          may i seek less stuff and more gratitude in my life & world...
               may i share a peacefulness where there's strife, 
                    take time to express gratitude even in the midst of challenge & unrest...
                         offer love &  hope to another--known or unknown--and in that,
                                    make one's burden or challenge a little bit lighter~
                                 

                                               being grateful for this fresh gift of a new year.
                                                                                                                    
                                                                   love & best to you.