possibilities...

lots of amazing, wonderful, sometimes-challenging, changes are happening for me...that feeling of  "wow! what do i do now?" has come over me numerous times in the few weeks.  our youngest son headed off to college, and frankly, i know it's been a bit more challenging for all of us--more than we'd anticipated; however, the good news is that for the most part, he's happy and doing well which means his mama is too!  weird how that works!  as individuals, the parental units are doing well; however, the unfolding of newness continues as his dad & i are really alone for the first time ever as i came into this relationship with two other small, amazing boys...we're finding our way, some days with more success than others, but we are--which is good.

another wonderful, amazing happening is a wedding for our oldest son next weekend. such a joyous time for all of us!  his fiancee is a beautiful person--inside & out--and well-matched to this terrific young man. we are all very happy for them~  it's fun planning, anticipating, getting ready, choosing this & that, clothing & shoes, decor for every event--the process has been very enjoyable even on crazy days of too much to do!  all of this will take place a couple of hours away in the mountains with incredible beauty surrounding so very little extra is needed.  setting: ranch, grasses, mountains, blue sky--a lovely red barn and mess hall compliment the tall pines and wild flowers--just perfect!  yes. it will be a very special day with all those nearest & dearest to the two whose love & commitment we all celebrate.

life has a funny way of taking us along -- we can choose to embrace each of the events in our lives, participate in and be a part of the happenings, or we can passively muddle our way along without paying attention--still, life moves on. i choose & am grateful to be an intentional participant in life.   Yes!

opportunities of gratitude

i sit in the loft of my studio, lovely music playing & cool breezes from the fan creating a wonderful, peace-filled time...i am quiet.  listening to the beauty of the various instruments playing, the music touches deep within me...reading there, words of incredible reminder of the life i choose to live, the lives others seek and find to live...the opportunities & privilege we have to live our best lives.  do we take that opportunity and live that responsibility well?  i'm not thinking of 'the list' of what we're 'to do' to live a successful life...rather, i'm referring to the best life I am called to live...living out my path, honorably, truly, gratefully and with joy.  whatever my path calls me to, do i do it within that framework knowing that's the journey of a life well-lived?

my youngest son heads off to college in less than 6 weeks...i will miss him at a depth i've not oft felt before...he is my bright, youngest, favorite, son...one of 3 favorite sons.  as i sit in the loft, i am thinking of him moving on to college...the beauty and adventure that lie ahead for him and i am so happy for him!  what a great opportunity is his to head off, taking his loving spirit, his bright mind, his inquisitive and creative nature off to seek new and different opportunities and ideas many of which haven't even crossed his mind before.  yes, i'm very excited for him to have this life.   i am also very grateful for his being the ongoing presence in my life through the past 18 years. one of the things i'm most grateful for is his encouraging me, reminding me and,  sometimes,calling me out to be the person i think & say i am...thank you, youngest son. i will miss you, yes.  but more, i'm happy for you~

reflections on a day in May...

while this is, at this point in the summer, a reflection on a previous time, i want to share it as it holds something to be grateful for, think about, be with... peace~

                                 
having the privilege of taking a nap on a warm spring afternoon is a gift...yesterday, not only did i get to do such an outrageously, luxuriant thing, but i was joined by my sweet little cat, Sammie~  she is quite the gal! what a serendipitous gift she's been joining our lives almost 3 years ago as a wee mite.

a hammock was our setting...the warm spring breezes were blowing--not too hot, not too cold--just right.  Sammie chose to be restful with her 'mama' in the hammock, and we both fell asleep--what a delightful time of being.  i learn alot from her...some lessons i may not want to look at but nevertheless, there they are.  so i seek to learn & be the best i am and, within that context, realize my best changes all the time...and that's an amazing and beautiful realization for me~

being present...

in the past few months, it seems there have been more than the usual amount of health-issue stories touching people i know...people who discover they have advanced cancer, someone's parent has early-stage Alzheimer's...one who has struggled for many years with addiction and sadness let's go and goes onto what's next...people in their fifties having complications from medical procedures or low-quality medical care and pass...sadness can overtake one's psychological make-up if one dwells on the trauma...drama...challenge.

in the midst of all this, where does one find some solace, peace, respite of one's spirit?  when even people who lean into skepticism reflect about end of the world activities, i pause and reflect and weigh in...i want to live a life of presence no matter what's happening...and yes, i have been deeply touched by most, if not all, of the examples listed above.  will, however, any of those tragedies be less difficult if i allow my life to become unhinged?  if i quit trying to live my life to my best abilities--will that make the hurt less? doesn't living fully mean feeling the sadness, embracing the loss while living in the midst?

in some communities, such as in Sendai, where a huge and devastating tsunami occurred just over a year ago, friends living there reflected with me and told me that one of the best ways, as a culture, they honor those lost in tragic events like this is to pick up, keep living, build again, continue on...for them, this honors, in the best way with respect & dignity, the loss & the life.  how do we, as people in this country, honor the tragedies but not live for the drama?  how have we contributed, as a society, to a less positive and more challenge-driven people?  do we, in any way,  see life as so black and white that either we become mired in the tragedy and cannot move forward or we seek the drama and challenge and 'live for the next one'?  what does that say about us?   what does that say about you...me...each of us--as ultimately, it is each of us individually who have to choose how we live and respond to life?

if i choose to live in the present, in the midst of difficulty & trouble and yet find calm in my heart, what does that say about me?  can i be the best, compassionate person i know to be and yet do that?  being present in the midst is what i am called to do...with integrity, intention and peace, i am called to be the best person i can be...embrace the moments of joy, challenge, life and be present in the midst of each moment~

so, yes...life moves on~

it's been awhile and life has moved on...school's begun for some in my family...autumn leaves are falling...the art studio evolves into a new look, refreshed but still embracing the old charm of the 100+ years it's been here.  i am fortunate to be a part of helping to create this space and am ever grateful for the people who have helped bring it this far...of late, the doors, block windows and new finish to the sheet-rocked walls add a really wonderful touch along with the trim around all the doors & windows--lovely with their hemlock frames!  soon, i'll be able to move my art supplies, easel, tables & shelves into the space and set up...to create & see what evolves!  i can hardly wait-- this has been awhile coming and it's shaped up so wonderfully with just a few final things yet to do...

otherwise,  leaves are being raked & music is playing--and changing with the seasons.  at this house, often, holiday music begins before the neighbors might...but i've always thought that if i don't begin early, time moves so quickly, i'll miss the whole experience and i love the process!  college apps are being filled out with an 18th birthday soon here--amazing that the years have flown from a scary start...to now!  what a delight to be a part of all the adventures of life--who knows what's next?  i've had the opportunity to go away--to visit family in california, helping move from one house to another and watch the home unfold in the new locale...go off in other directions to visit, help & spend time with family and friends who live afar...i am honored to be included~ 

for this season which is upon us, i give thanks...while i love the season of thanksgiving and all it includes, i think, often, of how grateful i am each day--for the little moments, the big surprises, the challenges & the joys...for all of this & more, i am grateful~

...'being' is enough

somedays, 'being' is all there is...and yet, believe it or not, 'being' is an active participation of life. for me, 'being,' is about participating--a presence and active & integral reality of active living...not just floating through life in a haze.  today, i've been touched by a dear friend's loss yet again...and reminded, too, of how important the active participation in life is for each of us.  what a privilege it is to be our best selves through the active 'being' with our journey.  each one of us can choose how that's going to look--no, we cannot make all things difficult flee...but really, the presence of challenge in our lives is what sometimes gives perspective and added beauty to the rest of our life.  so, back to the thought about choosing...

how we face 'what is' speaks volumes about who we are.  we can make the difficult be the focus...or it can be what gives other parts of life perspective...teaching us lessons, reminding us of something-- the potential of life...and multitudes of other things; however, as life is full of joy & challenge, we can choose how we're going to respond to all of that -- will we allow the challenge and difficulty to be the powerful directive of who we are, define us if you will or will we see all things as a part of the whole journey and thereby, simply that--a part and not what has to drive our lives.  i love that each of us have a choice about our lives--if not each and every actual happening, rather, the ultimate choice--what am I going to do about with what comes my way--how am i choosing to respond to life?  that is MY choice and 'being' is enough~

basil, tomatoes...and...anything!

the garden is beginning to be fruitful...i found 2 small lemon cucumbers yesterday, have had a handful of lovely golden cherry tomatoes and basil, cilantro & rosemary for awhile now.  i can hardly wait to have enough tomatoes to make something wonderful...do i care what?!  not at all...something lovely with balsamic vinegar, salt & pepper...some lovely cheese.  incredible fresh flavors that cannot come too soon!

so...today for me, LeaningIntoLife means being present for what is...available to smell, taste, hear, touch, sense, love~  life if full and vigorous, warm and languid--feeling pain and sadness when one loses someone close...delighted with the joy of love and connection...embracing new and upcoming adventures. today is full and i am grateful for it!  someone is off hiking and enjoying time away in the quiet of the mountains, bicycle rides are available for those who choose to ride, enjoying the blowing hair, breezes which cool on warm and even hot summer days...feeling strength as one stretches beyond the normal activity...someone trying a new recipe or art form...making plans to see missed dear ones or meeting someone new that you know can be a friend--lovely! 

really, what are you grateful for today?